Tilly's Messageboard
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"...Lindsey D’Oyle is known to oil Sir Harry’s bat regularly..."
It has been an eventful week at Long Pants HQ. The club has gained a new anthem and manager!
After a month of poor results, Sir Harry Hatchet-Job sacked me a week ago. He has been attempting to recruit a new manager. Now that I am no longer employed by the club, I can divulge what has been happening. Sir Harry has a %u201Csecretary%u201D who is not employed for her brains. Although he does not play cricket, the appropriately named Lindsey D’Oyle is known to oil Sir Harry’s bat regularly. Apparently he asked her to approach Fergie to see if the Long Pants job would be of interest. The Duchess of York replied she would do almost anything if the price was right. He then told her to get him Martinez; so she bought him a crate of the stuff although she knew he was strictly a single malt man. Finally, her attempts to contact Mancini resulted in the heirs to Henry Mancini’s estate sending her the theme tune of the Pink Panther which she downloaded onto the Long Pants website (www.leakydefence.com — currently offline) as the club’s anthem.
So you need to know that Pat is now the caretaker manager until Sir Harry can find someone to replace the man who took Long Pants to unprecedented back-to-back championship wins! Any suggestions as to what a redundant FFL manager can do will be welcome.
Hopefully Neil will make an example of and take strong action against his racist striker Saurez. It would be a good gesture to prove you don't condone this racist by swapping him for my striker Beckford.
Taraaabit manager Ben Kohn admits that although his captain has come up short in fantasy and real football terms, at least he is displaying an anti-drink driving stance as well as environmental conscience by taking the bus to the pub:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2044673/Adel-Taarabt-pictured-bus-stop-QPR.html
Taraarabit is claiming that there was a mistranslation from the Spanish as he sat on the bench one match. He is receiving massive support from fellow players - none of whom understand a word he said.
Newsflash: Interpol investigating a gambling fraud involving QPR player Taraabit betting against his own FFL team and then deliberately not scoring goals to ensure the team's failure. Manager Ben Kohn said he was "appalled at his captain's unprofessional attitude" and would await the outcome of the investigation to decide on what internal measures to take. More to details to follow shortly...
Come on the Owls. Hillsborough is a fortress!
Yes, League 1 football.
It's where it's at.
Rob, not sure I understand what you're saying, you mean there's something more important in your life than following premier league football??
I've still got more assists than Neil.
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